Singer is expanding on her love for pinot grigio with a new red wine blend
What, you didn't think famed Real Housewife of New York Ramona Singer would be drinking pinot grigio forever, did you? Now, the reality star turned vintner has announced a new red wine to accompany her pinot grigio.
Singer's newest wine is a red wine, a sangiovese-merlot blend, according to a press release. Produced in Tuscany, the red wine is "fruity and tart in flavor," with cherry fruits and spicy oak as a back note. Said Singer in the release, "My favorite thing about Ramona Pinot is how easy to drink and smooth it is. It was important to me that the same happen for Ramona Red. The addition of the Merlot to the Sangiovese base brought great balance and achieved the smoothness and lightness I was looking for in my red wine."
You can find the Ramona Red in stores starting in October, for $15. It's no surprise Singer is jumping further into the wine business, with her pinot grigio sales holding strong from Opici Wines. She told the Daily Beast in August that she liked exploring new wines. "And by doing this [pinot grigio] wine, I’m learning more and more about wines. That’s what I like about the wine world, is that I’m being educated to more different types of wine from different countries," she said to the Daily Beast.
Real Housewives of New York City Recap: LuAnn and Ramona Fight About Dorinda’s Boyfriend John
Old habits die hard, especially for the Housewives. Episode 8 of The Real Housewives of New York City reminded us all that romance can rekindle, careers can blossom, and friendships can grow — but at the end of the day, someone’s going to threaten to smash someone’s face in the caviar.
PHOTOS: Real Housewives' Plastic Surgery: Before and After Pictures
Ramona (Kinda Sorta) Tries to Accept Dorinda’s Boyfriend John
Things started off calm enough when Ramona Singer met Dorinda Medley for a civilized lunch. A clearly tickled Ramona confessed that her estranged husband, Mario Singer, had been pursuing her as of late and had also mended fences with their daughter Avery (who had been none too pleased with how her parents’ split had gone down). “He’s like, ‘I want my family back. I want you back,'” the Pinot Grigio purveyor reported. Pressed by Dorinda about whether he had changed, Ramona thoughtfully replied, “He didn’t give a s— and now he gives a s—.” Guess that sounds like progress.
But while Dorinda was supportive of Ramona’s (potential) relationship, Ramona couldn’t quite bring herself to return the favor. When the topic of Dorinda’s boyfriend, John, came up, Ramona managed to say, “I accept him because you love him. That’s how it works.” Because Dorinda has more self control than most of the gang, she dropped it, but Ramona wasn’t done just yet.
“I can’t help that I don’t embrace John so readily,” she quipped to the camera. “And it’s not just me. There are a lot of people who would prefer not to be seated next to him at a dinner party.” Serendipitously Ramona got the chance to test out her theory at a dinner party later on.
Sonja Is a Latino Superstar
Okay, superstar might be a bit of a stretch, but Sonja Morgan is a cover girl! In an attempt to prove to the other ladies that her brand was more than a figment of her imagination, the aspiring designer hosted a party to celebrate the article featuring her in Latino magazine.
PHOTOS: Before They Were Housewives
While Kristen Taekman was thoroughly impressed with the event, Ramona, Bethenny Frankel, and Heather Thomson seemed underwhelmed. “I’m a little confused on what I’m supporting Sonja for,” Ramona confessed to the camera. “Is it a magazine? Is it the red dress? Like, whats going on here? And also she’s not Spansih. She’s not Latin. Latino magazine? I’m not getting that part at all.” Bethenny echoed Ramona’s sentiments. “I just was like, ‘Okay, I want to let you know that I am going to be on the cover of Equine Magazine,'” she joked.
For her part, Heather insisted that producing one ad in a magazine is not the same thing as a dress and then proceeded to ask Sonja’s team if they were going to sell the collection at Kmart.
Try as she might, Ramona Singer can’t mask her dislike for Dorinda Medley’s man. Jim Spellman/WireImage
Carole Launches Her First Political Campaign
With her much younger boyfriend jaunting around honey farms in Nicaragua with his ex-girlfriend, Carole Radziwill decided to run for a seat on the board of her building. “This is my first political campaign,” she admitted with a smile that let us all know she realized how ridiculous she sounded. Still, Carole managed to wrangle herself a team of unidentified “New York top political consultants,” as well as Heather Thomson, Heather’s husband, and Ramona.
PHOTOS: Real Housewives' Bikini Bodies
After campaigning for a whopping two days, Carole invited a gaggle of friends over to keep her company when the results call came in. Heather, Kristen, Sonja, Ramona, LuAnn de Lesseps, and Bethenny — who was clearly taking LuAnn’s advice to be more social with the girls — all dropped in. “It’s either going to be a victory party or we can drown our sorrows in Ramona’s Pinot Grigio,” Carole reasoned.
Citing the facts that Carole doesn’t get up before noon, can’t water her plants, and doesn’t have a real kitchen, LuAnn clearly thought Carole was poorly suited for the responsibility, but Carole was elected anyway. (Sorry, Lu!)
Two other key takeaways from the night were that Kristen apologized to Sonja for doubting her business acumen and Heather wants a tattoo on her hip of Maleficent’s head (which Bethenny seemed to think was not the world’s greatest idea).
Bethenny Breaks Down at CB2
For some inexplicable reason, Bethenny and Carole wound up shopping at CB2 where the conversation turned to Bethenny’s frustration over her limited time with her daughter, Bryn. It took about one minute for the Skinnygirl mogul to break down in tears.
Bethenny Frankel got emotional at a furniture store. Craig Barritt/Getty Images
Carole did her best to comfort her, though she was obviously uncomfortable, and a helpful store employee came over to see if they needed any assistance. Bethenny asked for wine (which the employee didn’t have) and drugs (another fail). Still, Bethenny appeared to feel better at the end of her public cry, so even though they didn’t buy anything besides a few cloth napkins to wipe Bethenny’s eyes, the trip was a success.
It’s Dorinda’s Party and She’ll Cry if She Wants to
In honor of Dorinda’s 50th birthday, LuAnn organized a little cavaiar-and-vodka dinner party. Ramona brought a man she’d picked up in the Hamptons named Michael Heather came with her husband and the birthday girl brought her boyfriend, John. But when Heather tried to give Ramona a compliment (or something resembling a compliment, anyway), all hell broke loose. Ramona insisted that she actually hadn’t changed in the way Heather had described, but rather that Heather hadn’t known the true her to begin with.
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“People like you, Heather, and people like you,” Ramona barked while pointing to LuAnn, “You have this evasive wall up. But Dorinda is very welcoming, so when she is welcoming I kind of bring down my wall so I can be myself.” Heather and LuAnn didn’t take too kindly to that, but Ramona wasn’t swayed. “In all sincerity, Heather, LuAnn, you have this wall up or insincerity toward me and I didn’t want to break it down. I can’t be bothered,” she snapped, prompting Heather to tell her to chill out.
Dorinda Medley’s 50th birthday bash doesn’t go as planned. John Lamparski/WireImage
Hoping to keep the peace, Dorinda chimed in. “I think we’re all much more alike than we always think we are,” she said. Ramona then reiterated how fond she was of Dorinda, which prompted LuAnn to tell Ramona that Dorinda had called her upset because Ramona had not been nice to her.
Clarified LuAnn, “You weren’t very nice to John,” prompting an impossible-to-follow exchange of who told whom what but basically boiled down to the fact that Ramona and LuAnn had talked trash about John and then Ramona had reported back to Dorinda what LuAnn said without mentioning her part in the conversation. (John, conveniently, was not present for most of this exchange as he’d excused himself to use the men’s room.) “I’m going to stick Ramona’s face in the caviar right now,” LuAnn declared before ordering Ramona to sit her “pretty ass down” in her chair.
“So much for new friendships,” Heather quipped as tears welled in Dorinda’s eyes. “Now we’re back to where we f—ing started.” You can say that again.
Tell Us: Did Ramona cross the line?
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Sonja comments on the restaurant industry, Kelly's "lady bits" comment, and the pecking order.
As a lot of you already know I used to be a restaurant consultant, so I try to go to a lot of the city's top restaurants on the show. Being a consultant entailed finding spaces, developing the restaurant's decor, wine list, menu, and finding the influential, international power set and celeb client list. I threw a lot of opening parties, and flew all over the nation promoting different restaurants, hotels, and then luxury brands at different stages. I really enjoyed doing this and being the "straw that stirs the drink" as John F. Mariani said in 1991. There was nothing better. Actually -- better was when I was at Donald Trump's wedding to Marla Maples at The Plaza and he told Sirio Maccioni of Le Circ, the legendary restaurant in NYC, "Sonja is the glue!" Those were fun pre-marriage, jet setting times. Whhheeeee!
Nothing makes me happier than putting people or deals together and matchmaking -- taking the weight off peoples shoulders for a few moments. While at FIT (the Fashion Institute of Technology), I did some modeling on the side and was working at Tavern on the Green and Charivari with Marc Jacobs (modeled for him too!). Charivari was the hottest high fashion boutique chain in NYC. It was a great experience for the life I was meant to lead and learn. After FIT, I was the manager of a high fashion boutique, Arlequin, and won the Olgivy and Mather award for Top 10 Marketing Savvy Retailers. I then took off to Europe again to model after the market crashed in the late '80s. I got into the restaurant biz when I got back from Europe the second time around at the advice of Bice, in Milan. I was a great gig for me.
One of the restaurants I frequented then and now is Le Charlot. I was introduced to several good restaurants by my dear old friend Eric Clapton. Boy did we have a great time. I loved having the time to lunch with Countess LuAnn de Lesseps at Le Charlot in this episode's first scene. We are both extremely busy with our lives and business, so this was the perfect opportunity to be together at a place I call home and they graciously agreed to have us. No small feat with the restaurants I fancy! Four Seasons, Carravagio, Cipriani, and San Pietro. These restaurants have a powerful clientele that supports the rent. So thanks to them we get an inside peak.
Le Charlot has a cool hip European crowd but it is very family oriented with lots of kids on the weekends! I enjoyed discussing our co-hosted trip with LuAnn. She is not judgmental of me and knows how to be in the moment with me. I wouldn't have it any other way. Life is short. We get each other, and we both like to travel. If I were to be stuck in New York, I would be miserable. I love NYC but it's not enough. I look forward to spending more time with LuAnn and getting to know her even better. Her children are precious, humble, and gracious. She is a terrific mom and her boyfriend is fun to be with!
Why is Kelly worried about me in Morocco? I was by her side in St. John until she went to bed, and supported her then and continue to now. This is why I set up the toaster oven cooking lesson with her kids and mine -- to break the ice with Ramona. I know Kelly will take time to get to know me and trust me, even though I have friends of 20 years who have told her that I am tried and true. Cut me some slack, and I cut you a lot of slack. I try not to be judgmental. Please don't be so judgmental of Ramona.
Ramona and Jill's relationship has a life of its own. Why is LuAnn getting involved? Did Jill ask her to? Jill doesn't need any protection when it comes to Ramona. Whether they are dishing it or taking it, I have full confidence in these girls handling themselves after all these years of "give and take!" I feel LuAnn's making matters worse in this situation even though her heart is in it for Jill.
OK, how cute is Brian Marcus? He is an accomplished photographer who comes from a family of photographers. "Let's go upstairs and do the rest!" I'm laughing my arse off. Does anyone out there get my dry sense of humor? My double entendre? That I laugh at myself and kid you at the same time? I fancy myself as a comedian a la Babs meets Jean Harlow, if you will allow it. I idolize Carole Lambert. Pie in her face and yet she maintained her elegance. Fall off the horse and get back up and keep going!
How funny is stylist David Evangelista? Do you remember my longtime friend from the Rosie O'Donnell show? He fell up my stairs. Dying of laughter. Love him. Such a diva!! Grand Maaaarshalllll! He was there before my marriage and after my divorce to support me as a divine hairdresser, makeup artist, and confidante. I love my gay posse of dear friends who for decades know, love and support me as I am. God bless them!
BTW my toaster oven cookbook is also a lifestyle book. I need the cover shots and the inside headshot to express the ironic contradiction of Sonja Morgan, the film producer, award winning boutique manager, restaurant ambassador, philanthropist, who is still kitschy enough to cook in a toaster oven while being glamorous.
I do have a deal offer for my books. Where does Kelly get her info? From the wrong people! I couldn't decide which publisher to go with on this book and my many book ideas and screenplays. There are only so many hours in the day, and I have to pick and choose how I spend my time. I also have to keep my best times for my daughter after school and our weekends. NO book can take that away from us. But I do promise to share the recipes and will probably print the toaster over cook book sooooooon!
Now to the lady bits comment. Kelly really is a "boy who cried wolf" too many times now. How are we to believe a model who has done six to seven changes backstage during 15-minute runway shows and numerous photo shoots (including Playboy) has always worn panties? With those horrid panty lines? Unheard of! That she never saw another woman's "downtown"? Puhleess! If you believe that, then you believe she never had a one-night stand. I was a model, I was in a gown. It was a photo shoot with professionals. No one wears panties. My legs were neeeever open. Even with the suggestion of "criss-cross," why is she so judgmental and critical at times? I invited her as a friend. Constructive criticism is one thing, but this was quite another. I feel Kelly's pain, and I plan to get to the bottom of it if she still wants me as a friend. The pictures for the book came out very well. Thank you very much everyone, including Kelly.
Ramona again! Diva b---h? I love that!! Admitting to a pecking order. LOL What is a diva? Seriously acting like a diva and being one are two different things. This is NYC and if you watch the show and want to really know how it is, there is a pecking order. When someone introduces you to a clique, you do not throw them under the bus and call them crazy when they have always been exactly the way they are. Use them? Then toss them aside? I don't think this is karma that will work for you. When you start a new job, you do not diss the boss of 20 years because you will get fired. Not everyone gets a reservation in the hot restaurant. You must pay your dues. Like it or not there is a pecking order. Pull your own weight. Get it or get out of the game. Ask me and I will tell you the truth.
I loved seeing Jill and Cindy bonding in the back seat while Kelly and LuAnn were sharing. So nice. I love to see real relationships building.
I've been to Canyon Ranch. It is so wonderful. I go to the one in Arizona and the one in the Berkshires every once in a while. I went much more in the past when my budget allowed. My favorite now is the New Age in Neversink, NY. It's a down-to-earth yoga retreat that is a little more spiritual and low key, with juice fasting and colonics. Bethenny goes there too. If we ever get a minute, we will go together. It's a flash to the past, but it works, so I go every two months to remember what is important to me and to ground myself. I usually go with my beloved sister.
Ramona I agree, if you know something great, share it! That would be Dr Sharon Giese. Alex doesn't do anything cosmetically, but I think she should. She is young, but you have to prepare for the future even if you have good genes. I love the heat machine. Everyone should try it.
Anyhoooo, the older I get the more I understand confidence is sexier than a perfect body, a tiny heiny, a skinny model, or a woman who shuts up or puts up. Power to the confident woman who knows she's a true partner and there is a good man out there. Meowwwww!
Why is Kelly afraid of Ramona? I feel bad.
Kelly light-hearted? When they wrote these papers I almost fell off my seat. Kelly is heavy-hearted and takes things very seriously. I feel her pain. Why are her friends in denial? Kelly realizes she is not light-hearted. Don't brush it under the rug.
Ally Zarin is so lovely and you feel the love coming off her. I always enjoy being with her.
Alex, our Ambassador says, "As little in the middle as possible." Love it! That is my new motto!! Even as an ice breaker, I want to be as little in the middle as possible. I like to start and finish the fun.
So nice that Ramona brought pinot grigio and donated her time to Jill's charity. I didn't go because l am up to my neck in my own charity work and my business and just maintaining my home and taking care of my family. Ramona said, "Let's not discuss our situation now Jill". That was great. . .because it was about the charity. I loved Jill's stepdaughter, her self esteem, and what Ramona said about her courage. I was feeling the empowerment and the love.
Ramona brought the wine to donate to the event. Notice it was the only wine on the table. No red. No champagne. No cocktails, and apparently no servers because Ramona had to go get the wine, the glasses, serve and pick up the dirties. Luckily I didn't need Ramona to do this at my Masquerade Ball because, though were 50 people, we had plenty of servers (gorgeous servers, I might add) and delicious food and cocktails of every type you could want. But if I needed Ramona she would have pulled up her sleeves, not complained, and had a ball doing it.
Thank you for reading my blog and watching our show. I posted some toaster oven recipes and some floral arrangements on my website blog.
My 2011 Reel is on YouTube, join my fan page for updates (I need some followers!) and follow my Twitter for everyday thoughts with viewers and friends.
It may be a coincidence that Tarte's latest launch, a sea-inspired palette called High Tides and Good Vibes ($39), launches days ahead of Real Housewives of New York, but we prefer to think it was a planned affair. The palette, which includes 12 pans of shadow with a mix of eight matte and shimmer shades plus four glitter toppers, will have you celebrating turtle time with your favorite wine — perhaps Ramona Singer Pinot Grigio? Like years past, Tarte is adopting another sea turtle and her nest through the Sea Turtle Conservancy to celebrate the launch.
The palette is also a first for the brand, launching exclusively through Sephora in 28 countries. It will launch on March 5 on Tarte.com and Sephora.com in North America, France, and Spain and will be coming soon to Sephora Europe, Sephora Australia, Sephora Southeast Asia, Sephora Middle East, Sephora North America, and Sephora Inside JCPenney stores.
Keep reading to see swatches of the palette, and get ready to bring it along on your next trip. (Hopefully not to Scary Island.)
Ramona Singer is in self-quarantine with ex-husband Mario
"The Real Housewives of New York City" star Ramona Singer is spending time with someone unexpected during the coronavirus pandemic — her ex-husband, Mario!
The "plot twist" was shared by their daughter, Avery Singer.
"Another day, another family meal, and you're not gonna believe who I'm with!" Avery said on her Instagram story. She then flipped the camera around to her parents, who were sitting at the dinner table at her dad's house in Florida.
"I'm self-isolating with Avery's dad. He's making dinner every night," Ramona said as she sat at the dinner table with a glass of red wine and some food.
"What did I make tonight?" Mario asked.
Ramona then told viewers that Mario cooked "chicken with some . what do you call it? Paco?" (She was likely referring to panko bread crumbs.)
The couple divorced in 2016 but are clearly on friendly terms.
Last weekend, Singer, who recently revealed she was diagnosed with Lyme disease, said she planned to voluntarily isolate herself during the COVID-19 outbreak to ensure she stays healthy.
“This is serious. I’m not 'socially distancing' but voluntarily 'isolating' myself,” she wrote on Instagram.
50 Rules Bravo's 'Real Housewives' Cast Members Have To Follow
Since 2006, Bravo and executive producer Andy Cohen have brought us nonstop drama with the Real Housewives franchise. While it may SEEM like these ladies have zero rules&mdashyou know, given all the ponytail pulling and wine glass throwing&mdashit turns out there are quite a few, and I'm here to break them all down. So grab yourself a glass of pinot and settle in.
Yes, these women have to send in audition tapes, go through home interviews, have extensive on-camera tests, and more before becoming Housewives. And, of course, they have to earn Andy Cohen's stamp of approval.
In a 2015 interview with Attitude, Andy explained why: "The show works so well because it&rsquos all people who have long histories with each other. So it's not just throwing people together in a Big Brother house and seeing what happens." Think: Dorit Kemsley and Lisa Vanderpump or Dorinda Medley and Ramona Singer.
Nope, they don't get an automatic bid to the show. It's still important for the network to see if the potential new members are watchable. Bravo executive Ryan Flynn told The Daily Dish Podcast they start the casting process with the current cast members. "We always start with the women, sort of the core group that we think is coming back. It's always like, 'Who do you know that we should know?'"
Per the Real Housewives contract, the crew is allowed to access anything and everything while filming&mdashfrom the women's closets to their kids. "I always ask people what's off the table. [If they] say, 'This, this, this and that,' I say, 'You shouldn't be on reality TV," casting director Melissa Stanforth told the New York Post.
Have you ever noticed that the Housewives exclusively talk on speakerphone on the show? It's because while they're filming, the producers want to hear both sides of a conversation, you know, since they later share those phone conversations with the whole world.
When the show airs, the drama can get real. From things said behind their back to situations that unfolded a lot differently than one thought. That's why the Housewives are supposed to keep a blog with their reactions to each episode as part of their job.
"We actually start discussing what the potential tagline could be for each of the various 'wives pretty much at the beginning of the season, and we kick around ideas all season long, because they want their tagline to be unique and special and ones that really stand out from the pack," producer Doug Ross told E News. The women get some say, record three to six, and producers see which one sticks.
During every season premiere, you'll see at least one Housewife has changed up her look. That's because the network won't let them once filming starts. Why? A new look would ruin the continuity of their interview looks.
And they have to be able to recreate those looks regularly. "You wear the same outfit all year long. You get three looks [total]. But for three months, you have to wear the exact same outfit, same hair, same makeup. You can never cut your hair in the middle of it because you're supposed to look the same," Vicki Gunvalson told Glamour.
Yes, reshoots. Because if reality doesn't work once, try, try again. Cast members have been caught in public filming the same scene multiple times and the crew sometimes even sets up lighting for the "set" where they're filming.
From all white to metallics to different shades of neon, the cast members always look cohesive for their cast photo.
Some are more planned than others. The Real Housewives of Dallas really nailed the black and red color scheme here, but usually the theme is a little less obvious and the women wear what they're most comfortable in&mdashas long as it's cocktail attire.
When Erika Jayne joined The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, she blew the lid off of the glam squad secret that some Housewives hadn't been airing. Erika was open about her wardrobe, hair, and makeup team she flew out for all of the major cast trips. But at who's cost? Not Bravo's. The stars pay for glam themselves.
It takes hard work to make TV gold like the Real Housewives franchise, and not just from the producers's end. The women are logging six-day work weeks for 14 weeks during their season&mdashand that's on top of any other job that they might have.
There are strict rules about filming children, as legally they can only be filmed for a limited time each day. So production has to come up with a strict schedule to make sure they get the footage they need in the constrained time.
Besides securing locations to film (more on that later), the production team gives each cast member a written call sheet. According to Bravo producer, Dave Rupel this "outlines the next day's shoot schedule. Times, locations, weather conditions, etc."
Some of the show's drama is too real to be cooked up, but some is. how do we say this. pushed along by production. Former Real Housewives of New York cast member Alex McCord explained that some of the scenes and phone calls were orchestrated by producers.
That means no mentions of production or the crew whatsoever. This can sometimes lead to confusing drama. Real Housewives of New York star Carole Radziwill told BuzzFeed that she was told information by a producer that led to her calling Aviva Drescher a liar. But since explaining her source to viewers would break the fourth wall, she couldn't divulge more info.
Andy has revealed that the network pays for part of the cost of the exotic trips the Housewives take on the show, but that ultimately it's a combination between the network and the 'wives.
If a trip the women want to go on is outside of Bravo's budget, the women can front the bill. Perks like flying private or traveling to a destination in peak season are all some of the things the women arrange themselves. "Look at the credits. If you see 'promotional consideration provided by' an airline, a hotel, a cruise ship, a this, a that. That means it was provided by the producers," Alex McCord told RealityFix.
It's a big deal to miss a cast trip and the women are expected to show up. However, sometimes there are conflicts&mdashor women will create excuses if they're fighting with someone and don't want to go. That said, a lack of attendance can seriously jeopardize your standing in the show's cast.
"There have been some that have been generated by us and there have been some that have been generated by them. The women take the planning of the vacation really seriously," Andy told OK!. Wouldn't you?
On vacations, former Real Housewives of New York star Heather Thomson noted that it's all free-flowing: "You request the kind of alcohol you want and it's there when you arrive to your villa and if you run out, they get you more."
While many have accused the Real Housewives of being scripted or staged, the show stands by the fact that storylines are authentic. "Good luck trying to get f---ing reality talent to do anything scripted, because they're so difficult," an anonymous Real Housewives producer told Business Insider.
The women are known to hock their various ventures, but it's not exactly *free* publicity. Per their contract, Bravo receives a percentage of the revenue earned from any business promoted on the show, with one exception: Bethenny Frankel. "In the first season of Housewives, I made $7,250 for the entire season, but was the only person to put in my contract [that] anything I ever do, I own. And that ended up being a pretty good thing when it came to Skinnygirl," Bethenny told CNBC.
The women are paid a lump some for the season, with some like fan favorite Bethenny making upwards of $1.5 million after her return to The Real Housewives of New York City in season 7.
Nope, not all of the Housewives are paid the same. New cast members start out with a smaller salary and are given a pay increase after each season, while the OGs or fan favorites, like Bethenny or NeNe Leakes, can bank more than $1 million a season.
If you're a "friend" of the Housewives, aka you appear on a few episodes every season, like Faye Resnick on Beverly Hills, you're paid per episode. Which might explain why Faye always instigates fights and returns on a later episode to address the drama. JUST SAYING.
Not only can it take up to five hours of filming, but the crew puts together an elaborate set in the Housewives' home, including rearranging furniture and hanging drapes and curtains. "It takes forever, they move your house around, they turn your house upside down," Lisa Rinna told Bravo TV.
With all the crazy accusations and altercations, it makes sense that Bravo puts in their contract that the Housewives have to settle their disputes on the couches at the reunion rather than in the courtroom.
RHONY Recap: Ramona and Dorinda Clash as Sonja Debuts Her Clothing Line at Century 21
This week on the Real Housewives of New York City, the episode resumes in Mexico and there is STILL friction on the housewives front! How will they address the anger elephant in the room? Let’s watch this anger train go off the track, shall we?
We begin on the last night in Mexico and the ladies are getting ready for dinner. On a side note: Doesn’t it seem like this trip was covered in more episodes than other housewives trips? Sorry, I digress…
Ramona is Googling “anger issues” and decided to text the group, including Dorinda. Luann thinks Dorinda is going to blow a gasket over this text. Dorinda is already firing shots back at Ramona, deflecting already. Luann thinks this was done in a very shady way and isn’t going to accomplish anything but setting her off. Me too.
Dorinda glides casually into Ramona and Sonja’s room acting all nonchalant. She just loves the great articles and has some to share too. In her ITM she says, “Rats only come out at night and Ramona is a coward.” She has articles to share too on Ms. Singer! Dorinda doesn’t appreciate Ramona’s help and they go at it. Yikes, she even tells her to act like an educated woman.
Ramona wants to keep using her Ramona dictionary when she mispronounces deflect. Dorinda said the word to describe Ramona is “traumatized” since that is how people feel when they meet her. BOOM, she goes low, already calling her uneducated and intolerable. Dorinda isn’t regretting her actions and mocks Ramona with “Do your turtle tears!” Dorinda thinks Ramona is jealous of her and that is why she is picking on her. Ramona thinks Dorinda behaves like her abusive dad did. #TRUTH
Sonja refused to stop the Dorinda anger train and probably could have used a cool drink and some popcorn to snack on during this side-show. Ramona got so worked up she pooped in her robe. Wow, there has been a lot of incontinence on this trip!
Luann is carrying a giant Popsicle raft to chat with Dorinda by the pool about the text. Maybe the raft is symbolic for an olive branch? She begs her to just listen. Dorinda refuses to accept responsibility and listen to this “bash Dorinda monologue,” and she won’t take advice from Lu. I am sorry, this is the worst type of friend: the kind who throws your past in your face when they are confronted on anything. Dorinda thinks Lu lives in the past? Are you freaking kidding me? She is in la-la land. Leah joins them, thank god. Dorinda apologizes in the most insincere way. Let’s break this up and eat dinner but hide the knives .
The dinner looks amazing! I love traditional Mexican food. Ramona is complimenting the staff on how the food has been incredible. Dorinda thinks Ramona is just doing a “thank you” tour and has no sincerity. Yep! The dinner conversations are basically all diversions to avoid the topic with Dorinda. Dorinda asks Leah if her company has partners. She is basically just questioning her credentials. Leah shares that she has had partners in the past but she is handling it on her own.
The poor server that is serving wine to Ramona is trying really valiantly to please her. She keeps rejecting what she is offering to her. Ramona doesn’t want older wines and she doesn’t want cold red wine. Doesn’t Ramona know aged wine is better? Luann can’t handle all of the bullsh*t going on at the table. Sonja says the niceties end really fast with Ramona. Leah tells Ramona she likes to complain to get attention. Sonja thinks she just likes the chaos she creates. Truth!
Leah is trying to follow the conversations since she is the only one who didn’t get the text message. She finally sees where Ramona sent five articles on anger issues. Leah thinks she was left out since she doesn’t consider her a friend. Luann says Ramona is freaking her out because she left a smoldering bomb of sh*t and walked away. She doesn’t know this Ramona. She wants her to be real. There is a HUGE elephant in the room and it is named Dorinda and everyone is dancing around the issue. Can you say awkward and extremely dysfunctional?
Who would have ever guessed that Sonja would be the voice of reason? Sonja very eloquently describes how Dorinda mothers the other ladies and doesn’t ask for help for herself. She projects her pain on others. Production shows the carnage where Dorinda tore her apart on countless occasions to illustrate this. Sonja thinks she is literally cutting her own head off by not facing her own demons. Amen, Sonja, well done!
The ladies are packing to go home in the morning. Luann already hightailed it out of there early in the morning. I love how they turn the disagreement around on the one that went home. They think since Dorinda loaned Luann all of that Jovani stuff she won’t hold her ground. She will lose all of the Dorinda perks if she kept pulling the pin on the grenade. I think she just knew it wasn’t going anywhere. This conversation is a merry-go-round of dysfunction and IMO Luann wanted off the ride!
Leah shows us a glimpse of what is going on with her business. She started this business on a $75K settlement with the police department because during an arrest they knocked her teeth out. Leah is trying to expand her brand and isn’t letting anything get in her way. She can’t just be cool it doesn’t pay the bills you know.
Ramona is meeting up with her psychologist about her loneliness. She thinks she is such a catch and has been sabotaging herself. Ramona demonstrates to her psychologist how she carries herself. She admits she isn’t really genuine when she acts all coquettish. Ramona is a very sensual woman, you know. The psychologist just nods at her and is basically just being polite and professional. He is probably thinking, “I have to fake this response to keep this cougar happy.” LOL. Ramona thinks she is cured since she loves herself (fact) and doesn’t need a man (false)!
Luann has a rehearsal and Sonja is MIA. This part of the rehearsal is actually for the part that Sonja is playing. When she gets her on the phone, she is still in her bathrobe. Sonja claims she knew nothing about the rehearsal and didn’t get the memo. Did Luann forget that today is her big day with her launch party? Remember, life is always about the cabaret in Lu’s world!
Leah has a very delicate conversation with her mom Bunny regarding what Sarah shared about not liking her sometimes. Bunny shares that her feelings fluctuate and she doesn’t like her sometimes. She has the same feelings for Sarah if she does things to upset her. It is something most mothers can say. I don’t like how you act sometimes but I still love you. I think those of us who are mothers can relate to that sentiment. Sarah definitely misconstrued the conversation when she told Leah about her mom’s comments.
Bunny feels that she doesn’t like the person she becomes when she drinks. She doesn’t want her to lose her footing again and thinks she is a much better person sober. That is some good, sage advice. Leah apologizes for her past behavior, but her mom is just trying to give her some tough love and trying not to be too judgy. She is mistaken if she thinks she won’t have similar feelings like Bunny does when her own daughter grows up. I do agree that Bunny does feel that Leah is like her worst nightmare when she drinks. Bunny doesn’t want Leah to share what she said with her sister, though! Who knew that an Irish Catholic therapist who hasn’t had a drink in 40 years would birth someone like Leah? Leah needs to be reassured that she is loved and accepted. Don’t we all? SIGH.
We are finally at Sonja’s big launch party! Leah actually comes wearing something from her line since she gave her something that she actually likes. Ramona is wearing a dress from the line but she has to do some adjusting to make it presentable. Sonja-rita struts in true Sonja fashion in her black sparkly dress with her entourage of interns. We are then treated to a bunch of clips, including Bethenny dissing her for her past endeavors. Good for Sonja — she is finally delivering! Ramona is busy having the staff make her signature drink. He is even holding her drink while she drinks out of a straw! Damn, that woman sure knows how to work people!
During Sonja’s speech, Ramona’s phone is ringing off the hook. Sonja wishes she would stop trying to set up a date for the evening and she rambles “corner table with truffles up a chicken’s a**?” What does that even mean, is she already speaking in tongues? Ramona just doesn’t know how to put her phone on vibrate. Sonja introduces the ladies as her friends/family who stood by her. She just wishes she could have pooped out the toaster oven. Dorinda just wants her to follow through with something and earn some cash. Leah likes seeing Sonja in her element enjoying the limelight. I also like seeing Sonja actually making something legit! It is nice to see an episode close on a happy note, finally!
Next week, John is back at Dorinda’s party and Ramona dissed Elyse again? Here we go again! Enjoy your weekend and take care!
How Many Real Housewines Are There?
• It didn't have quite the impact of the Judgment of Paris, but a recently televised blind tasting in New York certainly ruffled some (haute couture) feathers on the set of The Real Housewives of New York City, a reality program in which wealthy Manhattan women shop, entertain, work, travel and dislike one another. To set the scene, last fall, cast member Countess LuAnn de Lesseps and her boyfriend Jacques Azoulay, a wine importer, invited fellow cast members to Kellari Taverna to participate in “wine games,” led by Master of Wine Jennifer Simonetti-Bryan. During one such game, cast member Ramona Singer, often seen actively disliking de Lesseps, was made to unwittingly taste and critique the 2010 vintage of her own Ramona Pinot Grigio on camera. A tempest in a wineglass, to be sure, but Singer, who'd remarked before the reveal on the wine's lack of depth, told Unfiltered that she was “truly surprised, because I was expecting a wine with more complexity, like a white Burgundy. [Azoulay] deals with French wines, so why would he have a Pinot Grigio there?” Other cast members, including Singer's husband, speculated that it had been a mean-spirited setup, fueling the tensions that keep Unfiltered riveted between commercials, but de Lesseps insists it was all in good fun, telling Unfiltered, “Part of the game was to see if Ramona would recognize her own wine. I would not call that a setup. Her wine is actually very drinkable and well made.”
Although former Real Housewife Bethenny Frankel remains the show's leading drinks mogul with the Skinnygirl brand of cocktails and wines that she sold to Beam in 2011, this fall, Singer will roll out a second wine under the Ramona label, a 2010 Sangiovese-Merlot blend, created, like the Pinot Grigio, in partnership with Opici Wines. (Other Real Housewives with wine labels include Teresa Giudice, NeNe Leakes and Cynthia Bailey.) De Lesseps, a philanthropist, author and recording artist whose first single was called “Money Can't Buy You Class,” tells Unfiltered that she, too, is considering getting into the wine business with a sparkling rosé made using méthode Champenoise, “but keeping it affordable, so people can pop and celebrate without spending a fortune.” Unfiltered looks forward to the inevitable blind tasting rematch.
• More wine criminals are on the lam after a pretty sizeable heist at Blackwood Lane Winery, in the Okanagan Valley of Canada, especially shocking because the country's culture, while in many ways similar to America's, discourages and frowns upon crime. The theft last month was a surgically efficient operation: 466 cases lifted in one night, and the perps even closed up the cellar and shut the gate behind them. The loss is pegged at $200,000, as most of the missing wine was a $60-a-pop Bordeaux blend called Alliance (pallets of Cabernet and rosé vanished as well). Blackwood's owners have offered a $25,000 reward for information on the crime, and the local Mounties (an elite Canadian police force staffed by horses and human Canadians) have been investigating Craigslist for posters looking to unload a suspiciously large cache of vino. The search is made more difficult still by the new law recently passed by Canada's parliament allowing direct shipping between provinces, which may have provided an added incentive for the hit on Blackwood in a perfect example of why we can't have nice things. Canada joins England, France and Scotland as a venue for this year's Wine Crime World Tour.
Rep. Mike Thompson (left) and Ferrari Winery president Matteo Lunelli talked shop over a glass of wine in Washington.
As a mother of four, Real Housewife, author, and every other title she has, it's surprising that Teresa Giudice even has the time to play softball. Nevertheless, she's multitasking by turning it into a social event and sipping on some wine.
Everyone who watches Real Housewives of Orange County knows that Vicki Gunvalson is the epitome of "work hard, play hard." She's either selling insurance, whooping it up, or bragging about both of those things, so it's amazing that Vicki has the time to bike, too.
RHONY Recap: Ramona Walks Out on Elyse at Leah’s Party and Dorinda Celebrates Her Birthday
This week on the Real Housewives of New York City, we will celebrate yet another RHONY birthday along with an ex-boyfriend thrown in for good measure. Leah will also invite us all into her Married to the Mob anniversary party. I will talk later in the recap about the Dorinda news. Let’s see what they are up to this week!
Leah is highly anticipating her big party to celebrate the 15-year anniversary for Married to the Mob. She addresses her sister on the phone by saying, “Hey sl*t.” How sweet, NOT! She is worried Bunny is going to be monitoring her with a breathalyzer. Leah wants to slip something in her mom’s drink to soften her up a little. I would strongly advise against that!
Dorinda calls Luann to make sure that Luann got her invite to her birthday party on Friday the 13 th . She tells her to bring her singing voice. We all know she will NEVER forget to bring that! Dorinda then needs a nap in front of her pink Christmas tree. Ms. Medley will have plenty of time for naps in her future.
Sonja is actually going to sell her townhouse. It is about time! She feels since she finally launched her line at Century 21 she can unload that heavy burden. Sonja better get moving on that before it is underwater in sewage or the bank takes it .
Luann comes to Ramona’s apartment and they discuss Dorinda on the Mexico trip. Luann hates that nothing really got resolved between them. She feels sucker punched. They think Dorinda feels that she apologized and things should just be forgiven.
Ramona and Luann discuss Elyse. Leah invited Elyse to her Mob party. Ramona feels that Elyse is just not a girl’s girl. Ramona feels like she was essentially used by Elyse to get into her friend circle #truth. She claims she can be manipulative and not genuine. Ramona should be able to identify those traits in others for sure! Luann agrees with Ramona that she felt something was off with her and never got close to her. She had her number and it wasn’t the 212 area code either!
We are now attending the Married to the Mob party. Leah is concerned that the housewives are going to expect a fancy party with caviar. Dorinda, in her fur coat, thinks it is a hip-hop event in a dungeon where the attire of the night is pajamas. She seems to be confused with the streetwear brand. Dorinda is convinced the guests need to go home and change out of their PJs.
Elyse arrives at the party and looks for a coat check. These housewives are so snooty! Elyse shares that she had a missed call from Ramona who we know is disgusted by her . Leah shares that Ramona told her to not invite Elyse. Doesn’t Ramona know that Leah is like a spiteful child who will do the opposite?
Dorinda meets Bunny who is very similar to her church-going mom. Luann shows up in another fur coat. It is amusing that the other women think that Bunny is so vanilla compared to Leah. Luann thinks she is so granola and Mother Earth. I agree there is a major juxtaposition between mother and daughter.
Sonja has arrived and is already hitting on men. She is telling them to not be scared “I don’t bite!” The guys she is chatting with tell her they see her as a grandma. LOL! That will give you a reality check for sure.
Ramona has arrived and she meets Bunny and tells her she feels like they are kindred spirits. They both try to control Leah and guide her. Bunny thinks they need to have a conversation and get to know each other better.
When Elyse tried to say hello to Ramona, she jerks her hand away and pretends to not even know her. Ramona calls Elyse an evil girl. I don’t know about you guys, but I feel like part of this storyline has been left out. I don’t get the anger between them. Ramona, the defector, is literally running away from Elyse. How bizarre and rather childish is this? Leah yells for her to “please stay.” It is pretty funny to see Ramona ask someone for her car and she has to walk away in her version of streetwear chic look.
Sonja is enjoying the eclectic vibe of this group. She feels like she has landed her helicopter on a hot guy helipad. Sonja tells one of the party-goers you are having Captain Morgan with Lady Morgan. I am sure that he is not impressed and has no idea who she is! She should have shared she partied with Diddy on his yacht!
Leah, who started the brand at 22, thanks everyone for coming and sharing this night with her. She recognizes Rob, which is very sweet. Leah also thanks her sister Sarah and gives her 15% of her shares. She must be drunk since she did that. Sarah might want to confirm that since Leah said that proclamation wasn’t binding according to her lawyer.
Bunny tells Leah that she is very proud of her. She is delighted that her daughter followed her dreams and made it a success. Leah is enjoying this moment with her mom. I find it refreshing that the night ends very happily. Who would have thought that an edgy group of people had better behavior than a group of socialites?
Luann talks with Ramona the next day about why she left. She wanted to escape the negative energy of Elyse and didn’t appreciate her grabbing her arm. Ramona doesn’t want anything to do with Elyse.
Luann is writing a book and is meeting with a ghostwriter to discuss her story. The writer is surprised by the woman Luann is today. Luann was considered chubby and had to shop at Payless. She used to saw off her heels since she was taller than others. Luann then realizes Ramona is still on her phone since she can’t figure out how to hang up the FaceTime call. Yikes! Just hang it up, Ramona!
Luann shares her dad apparently had a bad drinking problem and coincidentally was arrested as well. It is always interesting to see how people’s lives parallel to their parents. Luann shares that she was very close to her dad and she can now truly understand his struggles with alcohol. She credits AA for saving his life. Luann looks like her dad and loves reminiscing about him. She is hoping for another housewife New York Times Best Seller! Luann might get that wish!
Dorinda is having her birthday party at the Russian Samovar restaurant. She shares with her sister, Melinda, that she invited John to her dinner when she saw him in church. Dorinda thinks it would be cruel and unkind to not invite him. When did that ever stop her before?
We join Dorinda’s birthday dinner at the Russian Samovar, which is known for its flavored vodka. This sounds like my kind of place! Hannah is wearing an ugly sparkly afghan-looking jacket. What was she thinking? She is definitely channeling her mom’s pants from the last episode. Lu and Sonja are delighted the party is raining handsome men!
Sonja is inviting everyone to a drag queen Bingo party. She will be raising money for LGBTQ . Leah inquires, does she need to bring a drag queen with her? No, you don’t have to BYODQ! Sonja just wants her to fly her freak flag! That is no problem with Miss Leah!
When Sonja’s phone is messed up at the table, Dorinda tries to help her and it pisses Luann off. Luann is policing the cellphone usage after Dorinda placed a no call moratorium at the table. Come on now, Lu, it is her party and if she wants to be on the phone it is her prerogative. Gosh, do I hate being on Dorinda’s side. It is her party and she will phone if she wants to! Ramona is chatting with the poor guy next to her and she is venting over the birthday girl. I am distracted momentarily when the camera pans to Hannah with her fire-engine red lipstick and chomping away on her food. Yuck.
Luann again finds a mic, and she decides to do a toast after John gives a very sincere toast. Let’s just say it is a bit rambling and I did detect some slurring. Luann tends to make the toast more about herself than Dorinda. You have got to love the Countess! She always knows how to shift the narrative when it suits her! Ramona can’t take it anymore and tries to grab the mic but Luann isn’t done yet! Luann goes into this throaty jazzy version of “Happy birthday to you” that is beyond hilarious. It is funny when Dorinda in her ITM says she performs like an SNL skit. The evening ends on a happy note with Dorinda and John, who needed a shot after sitting next to Ramona, dancing.
Next week is the season finale of RHONY, and we are at Marry, F*ck, Kill show and the Drag Queen Bingo party!
I can’t finish my recap without mentioning Dorinda’s resignation/termination from RHONY. Was Dorinda not so nice behind the scenes as well as on camera? I was surprised since I thought Andy Cohen was rather attached to Ms. Medley! It appears Dorinda wasn’t really apologetic at the reunion so she got her walking papers CLIPPED. I would love to hear all of your thoughts on this news! Be well and have a great weekend!
Real Housewives of New York Recap: Fifth Grade Politics With A Dash Of Pinot!
The lessons of life are hard learned, and Sonja Morgan &ndash executress of the Hard-Knocks School of Life &ndash knows this better than anyone. Sometimes the truth is a bitter pill to swallow and it hurts going down. Sometimes reality is as jagged as the edges of a broken wine bottle.
As Sonja presided over her interns from her UES townhome, all of them looking up at her with searching eyes so full of hope and promise, Sonja shook her head and smiled a misty smile if only they knew that someday their ambitions would be stuffed in Neimans bag and returned. That they would be deemed unmatchable and undesirable. That the lessons learned in fifth grade would come back to haunt them. That sometimes extending the olive branch only means something if there are olives on the vine.
Real Housewives of New York started out on a beautiful day in Central Park. Heather Thomson and Aviva Drescher are getting together to talk shop. Aviva has something very pressing to impart. She is determined to keep the peace &ndash but more than anything she is determined to be liked by everyone. So, she pushes the childhood insecurities out of her mind and soldiers on.
CLICK CONTINUE READING FOR THE REST!
Heather must know that Ramona Singer, whose devil is in the pinot, is furious. She is blazing, spinning, twisting, turtle timing &ndash eyes googly and blazing &ndash because she has been excluded from THE trip to London. Aviva feels the sting of childhood trauma, of gym class exclusion, prickling her. She knows Ramona is hurt and she is here to salve that wound.
Unfortunately, Heather doesn&rsquot care &ndash Ramona was excluded on purpose! She must protect both her business and her image. Plus, it&rsquos as simple as she doesn&rsquot like Pinot. She&rsquos more of a red wine kind of a girl. Aviva warns her about Ramona&rsquos fury, that it will come in a wrath, but Heather has felt that wrath and is not scared. Remember, Pinot apologized to her and was kind, but then siphoned away at that kindness with digs and pettiness. &ldquoAnd then she kinda stabbed me with the olive branch,&rdquo Heather exclaimed!
Aviva wants to be with the cool girls, on the trip to London buying up a storm at Harrod&rsquos, but alas her fear of both exclusion and entrapment has prevented her once again. She channels her frustrations through Ramona, but Heather is lost on her appeals. &lsquoBring it on,&rsquo Heather challenges, &lsquoLet ol&rsquo Pinot try her schtick on me&hellip she&rsquos old news. And her style is so outdated!&rsquo
Heather concedes to invite Ramona on a shopping extravaganza with the other girls, although she&rsquos not happy about it!
Across town another desperate woman tries her luck. LuAnn de Lesseps, aging Countess No More wishes for another baby &ndash she has a new man (not a count) who counts so much more. She wishes to cement their relationship not with a wedding ring, but with a child.
Sadly, there is an obstacle in her path. L&rsquoex-comtesse is a wee bit wrinkled in the forehead to be harvesting life in her own egg crate. Le sigh&hellip Alas, her eggs need prodded and poached and jiggled and scrambled and benedicted and covered with hollandaise, but after two long years &ndash no baby has sprung forth. Oh, she is trying she wants us to know &ndash very often and uhhh&hellip with very satisfactory recipes (Le yuck!).
L&rsquoex-comtesse is seeking acupuncture as her last resort before the special egg swapping doctors intervene. On the table, getting pricked with needles as fine as a strand of hair, she feels a change. Unfortunately I fear our poor countess has felt &ldquoThe Change&rdquo instead of a change. Ahem&hellip menopause.
In a happier office, Heather shares the story of her son Jax&lsquos health. Jax was born with a rare kidney disease that necessitated a transplant and has caused him many health problems. Jax is adorable and what a brave little boy. He has reached the seven-year milestone for transplant children, and is doing better every day. Heather reminds us of the power donating organs can have. Very moving.
Unfortunately we cannot end on this happy note, for fair Aviva will not give up her quest to convince the ladies of Pinot&rsquos worth. She meets Mistress Sonja (who is guzzling a fine Italian Chardonnay) on a mission. Sonja of the spicy parties and toaster oven flare announces her bow blouse binge. I hope Sonja is no longer on a wearing clothes with the sales tags on them binge!
Aviva, anxious to make friends, to seem important and cool introduces the plight of Pinot, once again. &lsquoBut Sonja,&rsquo she simpers, hoping Pinot&rsquos good friend will truly understand, &lsquoPinot has been left out of the party!&rsquo &lsquoWell,&rsquo Sonja says crisply, &lsquoThere&rsquos simply nothing that can be done! Not everyone gets an invite &ndash we learned this in grade school &ndash I can&rsquot make people develop a taste for pinot. It&rsquos acquired you either like it or you don&rsquot.&rsquo Clearly this episode is all about comparing Ramona&rsquos behavior to that of a child&rsquos &ndash apt, don&rsquot you think? Ramona gives off a whiff of Lord of The Flies.
&lsquoSo, didn&rsquot you hear? I have a toaster oven business,&rsquo Sonja continues. &lsquoI&rsquom going into catering. Yes, that boarding school for wayward royals didn&rsquot work out and you know, a girls gotta eat and buy designer panties!&rsquo
&lsquoOh!&rsquo Aviva gasps, recognizing that she can redeem herself in Sonja&rsquos eyes by giving her some money. &lsquoSonja,&rsquo she deploys, &lsquoI&rsquom having a five-year married party, you know cause I&rsquove never had a party, EVER and now I&rsquom on TV so I should. Plus it&rsquos in my contract. Would you like to make canapes in your diamond studded toaster oven? Use the truffle oil &ndash I&rsquoll pay extra. Let&rsquos plan it for the day after you return from London!&rsquo
Sonja reluctantly agrees. &lsquoThis,&rsquo she thinks, &lsquoIs a recipe for disaster!&rsquo
Back at her humble abode, a fifth story townhome located next to a parking garage, Mistress Sonja holds court in her pajamas. &lsquoGood morning, my interns,&rsquo she announces surveying her indentured servants as she uncoils from her bed, emerging forth for her vitamins and a spot of tea.
&lsquoOpen this mail &ndash has AmEx begged me back yet? Oh, they have! Look they&rsquore offering moi money. $1.53 cents! Rush this to the bank, dear.&rsquo
&lsquoOh let&rsquos see what else, what can you plebeians learn from me? Oh &ndash about the water filtration and the toaster oven temperatures in Paris&hellip Oh, and my poodle has spotted on the persian again. Who&rsquos taking it to be cleaned? No, the dog&rsquos anal glands &ndash not the rug that&rsquos too expensive &ndash just spray some Febreeze!&rsquo
&lsquoA little Sonja spices up everything, and don&rsquot you forget it. Where are my mandatory 200 emails for today?&rsquo Poor Sonja, once a grande dame of American society presiding over five homes and a yacht with 75 servants and a toaster oven in every room. Now she&rsquos confined to a measly five floors with water damage! She entertained Churchills and Vanderbilts and Sugarcubes and Churchbilts and Chases.
But alas, now she&rsquos borrowing LuAnn&lsquos vacation home! And paying legal bills by the bucketfull and pretending these interns mean something even if they are cute and this was an adorable scene. It makes her sadly reminisce for the good old days when she meant something and her toaster oven inspired fear in those she met. Now she&rsquos stuck making mac n cheese balls for stupid Aviva and talking about Pinot Singer&lsquos drunken antics on a low-rent TV show while her husband &ndash oh, excuse me EX-husband, gallivants with 25-year-old &ldquomodels&rdquo Oh well&hellip
&lsquoMiss Sonja,&rsquo one intern whispers, tentatively stepping forward, &lsquoeHarmony contacted us. It seems, well&hellip it seems you&rsquore unmatched forever.&rsquo Sonja fixes her steely eyes upon Heather Hopesalot, stands a little taller, and says with determination, &lsquoHoney, you got that right.&rsquo And off she sauntered to spike her morning tea. She&rsquoll take pimms with that cuppa.
Incidental cool girl Carole Radziwill is on a date. And she just hopes he&rsquos not a republican. That would be an awful deal breaker and this man is very cute. Carole doesn&rsquot so much care about the men oh they come in droves &ndash a date is just something to pass the time and a free meal. She&rsquos an oldschool heartbreaker who tucks back the Tom Collins and prefers her sounds on vinyl.
Well, here comes a toddler in a suit &ndash that must be her date. He was one of Sonja&lsquos rejects. A former intern of something. (I swore I saw that guy on Project Runway.) Anyway, I can&rsquot understand a thing he said, other than &ldquopussy&rdquo which Bravo made sure to have Carole repeat. Carole can&rsquot understand him either, and it doesn&rsquot matter &ndash she&rsquos only using these losers for research for her next book.
Carole is a widow, and she once worked for ABC, but now she is an author. And her contract stipulates she must repeat this every episode so her cred is cemented. She must also announce that she lives downtown every episode. That&rsquoll teach her to sign things without reading.
Speaking of downtown, she&rsquos meeting Pinot for lunch. Carole is in some jacket her toddler date left at her house after t-ball practice and Ramona arrives in full-on Cruella de Vil mode. Throwing her fur over her shoulder, Ramona growls at the waiter that she needs a drink &ndash and fast &ndash if you think she&rsquos twitchy now&hellip
Carole looks alarmed. She gulps and slinks back into her chair. She sends SOS eyes around the restaurant in a desperate bid for help. Why, oh why, did she make plans to meet Ramona before the others? Now she&rsquos stranded, alone, and no one knows her whereabouts.
&lsquoWell,&rsquo Ramona sighs, settling into her seat &ndash &lsquoPass me that menu. So, I can&rsquot stand Heather and she&rsquos bitch for not inviting me to London. Who wouldn&rsquot want to spend their vacation with me? I won an award for business&hellip remember you were there? I talked through everyone else&rsquos speech and complained that they hate men. It was a big deal. I am a big deal. I was on Learning Annex Magazine. And I&rsquom on this show. And I do jewelry and pinot &ndash and I&rsquom a wonderful person. Tell Heather to invite me to London.&rsquo
Carole, fettered by trying to appease the situation is fearing for her life. She thinks of how she would distract a five-year-old in the throes of a tantrum. &ldquoI&rsquom a princess,&rdquo she blurts out! &lsquoOh,&rsquo Ramona gushes, &lsquoYou are? And that title trumps countess, doesn&rsquot it? So you out-rank LuAnn! I&rsquoll just store this in my pinot bottle for future use. Now, back to complaining about Heather.&rsquo
Poor Carole&hellip she tried. And failed. She attempted to reason with Ramona, failing to recognize that Ramona&rsquos logic got lost in a pinot bottle many years ago.
Meanwhile at Curve, Heather is attempting to coerce her new friends into buying clothes from her real friend&rsquos boutique. Aviva has accompanied her and is reluctant to try on sandals. &lsquoYou know,&rsquo Heather announces, &lsquoAviva has a fake leg. Can you tell?&rsquo Aviva is embarrassed but tries to play it off. Boy, Heather just had real foot in mouth moment, didn&rsquot she?!
Distracting from the awkward, Ramona and Carole show up. &ldquoSAVE ME&rdquo Carole mouths, gesturing to Ramona. Heather quickly leaps into action &ndash &lsquoRamona! How are you? Let&rsquos hug. You know, I&rsquove been thinking about you&hellip you could really use a make-over. I was gonna put you on What Not To Wear for a satin cocktail dress detox, but then I thought you can spend your money at my friend&rsquos shop and the whole world won&rsquot know that I think you dress like an aging drag queen lost in the Dynasty years. Oh, are we filming? Oops! So anyway, you need a make-over!&rsquo
That distracted Ramona, alright! Ramona is floored. And decides she hates everything it&rsquos all ugly and horrible. She becomes ruthlessly rude &ndash discarding garments as if they have fleas. She is a fashion authority! YEAH RIGHT.
Ramona and Heather sit down for a chat, to once and for all lay this London thing to rest. Aviva comes over to assess the damage just as Ramona decides Aviva is to blame for all of this. She was talking about everyone and putting herself in the middle.
Aviva is an amateur, unfamiliar with the ways of the Housewife. Ramona drops that Aviva told her that Heather&lsquos feelings were hurt and that&rsquos why she was uninvited. And Aviva just got her first taste of Pinot. Heather doesn&rsquot take the bait. &lsquoNo, I wasn&rsquot hurt,&rsquo she reassures. &lsquoI just don&rsquot like you. Oh, and Aviva, I&rsquom not mad. Just come talk to me next time.&rsquo
It&rsquos all tit for tat and going nowhere with Ramona still insisting she should be invited. Heather sighs the longest sigh ever sighed and repeats herself again. Heather is not sorry, and she will not beg forgiveness, and Pinot is not coming on this trip.
Ramona gulps, the truth does not slide down her throat as smoothly as a cool glass of pinot does. No, it&rsquos dry and cakey like the next morning&rsquos aspirin.
The silence was palpable. A pause occurred and then everyone cheered for Ramona too. But the damage was done.
In her mind, Heather bursts out laughing. Yeah, this bitch is so not coming to London.
THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE? SHOULD HEATHER FEEL SORRY FOR EXCLUDING RAMONA? DO WE CARE?